2009

1.       I am officially a foreign graduate with MS degree ;)

2.       Trying to develop a taste towards a corporate life, and culture

3.       Once again I played the Heart Break Kid and going towards Heartbreak and Triumph

4.       Had a wonderful farewell from US, one of the memorable moments

5.       I returned to India… just for all those who are skeptical about my returns

6.       Became a bit lazy about couple of things

7.       Long sitting sessions took the physical health away… time to get back in shape

8.       Some of the last year’s resolution met and some are still left

9.       Movie streak is still on and numerous movies are added to records

10.    Did miss the peace of Columbia, but enjoying the crowd of India…

11.   I don’t think that I will survive Bangalore more then 5-6 year

12.   Developed some innovative business ideas, and seems like I will going to end up in business after couple of years

13.   How about writing a fiction :D

14.   Photography is ON and going strong

15.   Finally, end of year is disappointing I HATE SITTING AT HOME. I am not meant for it…

The Prince deserves the Kingdom? Really!

I was wondering since I came back to India about the popularity of Rahul Gandhi… the next prince of Gandhi dynasty of Great Indian Political Theater. The youth of India is really crazy about him, with a huge fan following over internet as well. He has all the good reasons behind it, he is good looking, and he talks his heart and has a very clean image in the current political scenario. I really liked the fact that he made many young people to think about politics seriously and many youngsters are becoming part of active politics and for them the politics is not just thing of those tainted individuals that mold it for their own benefits.

I like all those faces that I have mentioned above, but there are certain things that seem to be misplaced, first, people have already acclaimed him as the next hope of the country. Being a person of logic I think that so far he has not done anything for country that shows his so called wonderful quality and dedication towards country. I was watching an interview where he mentioned that all he is doing these days that to rebuilt congress, so my logic says if he has not done any observable thing for country even after being on the post of the cabinet minister so far then what we are expecting from him? First, may be most of the youth is misguided from media or maybe they have misinterpreted the whole scenario in both the cases it is very dangerous for the youth and country to believe on such person.

Second, I am highly disappointed with selection of his close ones. Most of them belong to some of the richest families or from old dynasties (Schindia, Pilot, Shailja Kumari, Jindal etc), in the counter argument you can name few like Minakshi Natarajan etc but if I compare the names then the picture becomes very clear. So, are we supporting some kind of age old system of following a family or a group of families? If this is so they why do we need democracy? Why not go for the system that we have left behind years ago?

Finally, I have some questions about his qualities. I have never seen him in a heated debate, I have never seen him as confident leader while speaking and moreover he is still under that ‘Gandhi’ cover and has no individuality out of it. I want to see that future leader of my country to be a confident, strong and thoughtful. I am just asking you a question, does he possess those qualities and does he deserves what he is getting? I am not a prince with silver spoon in my mouth, and I want someone like me who truly represents the ‘stupid common men’ of this country.

Bangalored...

Its unbelievable but its true... I spend a whole month at the same place without outing, without sports and without anything that I like (that includes blogging too). I all have done for past one month is to sit in front of the stupid laptop, visiting same job portals, same company sites and that concludes the happening of the whole month :(

What a boring time and what a pain...

P.S.- Oh God! Please give me a job or give me a bike so that I can start an adventure trip again...

Chapati to Idli Dosa... the begenning

So finally I reached the Silicon Valley of India, the City of Gardens... Banagalore. It was twilight time when my train stopped there, with a lot of luggage and strict instructions from doctor I have to find a coolie to lift all the stuff and take it to auto stand... and I found one young guy asking me to lift my luggage from some distance. I communicated with him and made that deal in Re. 100... As soon as that guy approached me, I noticed that he was limping a bit and then I realized with the smell coming out of his body that he was totally drunk... 'welcome'...

As soon as I came out of the station, I cold breeze of wind flowing there the take off the fatigue of the 27 hour journey. I took a auto to reach home, Arpit welcomed me there (he has put on a lot... I meat LOT of weight). Evening was just okay with some formal introduction and dinner at a friend's place as cook has taken off for a month.

The next day started a bit slowly, I decided to take a walk around and while roaming in the area I noticed that unlike many cities in India... it was well managed city with a great cleanliness and greenery. People were welcoming and had a good sense of talking... breakfast was Idli and Vada from a shop which has a sign board of badam millk (milk with extra 'l') ... then lunch was at Dadawadi Jain Bhojanalaya... and then we went to Jayanagar Sector 4 for some evening walk... and had some good veg. sandwich there...

The city is crowded with software engineers, you can feel their air... same way of behaving, talking, and living... probably I will be a part of this crowd in sometime... or may be not! lets see what future is carrying for me...

युगांधर

Here come another oldie... I wrote it in India while pursuing my under graduation...

युगांधर

जब अन्धकार में पाओ खुदको,
प्रकाश की और रुख करना तुम,
जब आशा की लो बुझती दिखे,
नई राहे खोजना तुम।

तुम हो जो कुछ कर सकते हो,
तुम ही आगे बाद सकते हो,
बस अपनी इच्छाशक्ति समेट कर,
जुट जाओ लक्ष्य प्राप्ति में।

यही वक्त है, जब तुम कुछ कर सकते हो,
नई राहे चुन सकते हो,
आत्ममुग्घता से बहार निकल कर,
सबको अपना कर सकते हो।

जागो! तुम ही विजेता हो इस युग के,
तुम्हे युगांधर बन दिखलाना है।

चला चल

जीवन रस पीये जा, नामुमकिन किए जा,
प्रगति के पथ पर, अविरल तू बढ़े जा।

नामुमकिन में भी मुमकिन है, यह जानना है तुझे,
अंकुरित होती क्षमताओं को, पहचानना है तुझे,
जीवन पथ की शुरुआत से, आकाँक्षाओं के क्षितिज पर पहुचना है तुझे।

राहें नई है, मुश्किल है, तो क्या हुआ,
उन्हें पार कर ही तो मंजिल मिलेंगी,
इस असंतुष्ट ज़िन्दगी में, तभी संतुष्टि मिलेंगी।

छा जाओ विश्व पटल पर, यह नभ तुम्हारा है,
करो ख़ुद कर विश्वास, आने वाला कल तुम्हारा है।
नज़रों मैं मंजिल हो, कुछ कर गुजरने का जज्बा हो,
तो इस कुरुक्षेत्र के अर्जुन तुम ही कहलाओगे,
आज नही तो कल अपनी मंजिल को जरूर पाओगे।

P.S.- I wrote this poem a long ago, even I don't remember when. While packing today, I came across it...

I am done...

So finally another chapter of life ended yesterday, as I completed my MS from University of Missouri. This period of time was simply great with some of the most memorable experiences from working all nights up in the lab to have extreme road trips to lead one of the most prestigious organizations on campus. There are a lot of things that I have learned apart from the regular classes and research work, and I am sure that it will going to have a great deal of impact in my life.

With that being said, it time to shift the gears and change focus towards a new dimension in life. Now it’s time to go to other side of fence and face that thing what everyone calls ‘real world’. There are a lot of expectation and speculations; I am not sure that how India going to treat me and weather I am still a good fit there or not. All answers are closed in the black box of time, and I am going to reveal it soon. Its last few days in Columbia, a home away from home and I am going to make most of this time.

Video Blog!!

Here comes the first one, I know its a massacre but bear with it till I will get a better and improved one!

50 Things by Ben Jones

I was planning to surprise everyone with some new stuff... but due to some technical problems, it has been delayed for some time. In the mean time, here is a wonderful article that I copied from Pritesh's blog who also copied it from someone's blog :)
Reading this, I was in those four wonderful years of my life... here it goes-

A superb read. Quoting it full from the author's page.

"50 Things"

Dear Class of 2010,

This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).

As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.

Here goes...

1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
10. Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
11. Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
12. When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.
16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
18. Take risks.
19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
21. Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
23. It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
24. When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
25. Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
31. Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.
34. Ask for help. Often.
35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
39. Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
40. Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
44. Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
48. Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.

Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

-B

Lets play the hard game...

Its been a while being in a shell, and struggling against some useless things. I don't even remember last time when I was trash talking, hell rising, and extreme going kind of person. Well it seems like that its time to go back to roots and shake the things us from the bottom, with the good ol' self and a new and improved package. So just get ready for the rumble and ride of life on voyage... cos' its time to play it the hard way with more fun and more extreme themes.
Voyage 2.0 beta version is coming...

Finally...

Finally it 'seems' that I have found the solution of all the problems and will be able to work on my research from today onwards. It would be a bit crazy as I have to use two laptops and my desktop together to run it in bits and pieces but I am happy that now after one and half month of struggle I will be able to do something. This time just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that everything goes well when I will start to work this noon after coming from job.

adios...

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

“Woods are lovely dark and deep,
But I have many promises to keep.
Miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep”

How life sucks...

06/01/09- My project is in last stage of completion!!!
06/02/09- There are two minor corrections suggested, hoping to fix them in couple of days.
06/04/09- While working on the corrections lab computer is attacked by viruses, trying to get through this matter.
06/06/09- While fixing viruses, I realized that I am no more able to log in the normal mode.
06/08/09- Lab computer is crashed, though I have all back up ready with me.
06/09/09- Trying to work on my laptop, but it seems its not supporting that files.
06/10/09- New OS is installed on my laptop, but still same problems exists.
06/11/09- Talked to some of the experts in the field, they have no clue whats going on with my laptop and lab computer, no solution
06/12/09- Last hope is gone

Result- I am suppose to graduate in 1 month or so, still not started writing my thesis. Project is in the black hole, and I am totally clueless.

ज़र्रे मैं उसी का नूर है, झाक ख़ुद में वो न तुज से दूर है,
इश्क है उस से तो सब से इश्क क, इस मोहब्बत का यही दस्तूर है

I was listening some of the Delhi 6 songs while waking towards my lab, then suddenly voice of Amitabh Bachchan came up with the words that I have mentioned above... what a voice! It is one of those voices that I can never forget in my life. It reaches out to heart and make us believe on it. Couple of days back, I was reading an article about Amitji and it tells about I he was rejected from everywhere because of his voice and looks, and now looking at the present time it is one of the most respected voice in country.

It is really hard to understand how time changes and life shows new colors. At some point of time you are a total failure and at some other time you are leading the world. It all depends upon your hard work, attitude and little bit of luck. History is full of the examples like Amitabh Bachchan who started from being 'nothing' and ended up with being 'everything'. The common factor in all of them was some driving force that keep on pressuring them to do something to reach the higher orbits of their life. I am not sure where is my 'force', but it looks like its time to find it out and start something that I really want to do.

Love it or Hate it!

Its 3 AM and like any other day I am in my lab working on some project module and simultaneously watching a movie to keep me up. Its been after a while that I am feeling close to work and trying to focus more and more towards research. The truth is, after a long time I am facing a good challenge and this time with approaching deadline the research work look like going towards dead end, but I know that I will not let it happen.

For last couple of years, I have noticed that with increase in work load, my involvement in other stuff also increases. This time again, I am enjoying my evening send volleyball, occasional table tennis, blogs, photography and movies. This things help me to keep momentum towards work, just keeping my finger crossed to get over this module which has became the most prior thing in my life for now. Sometimes I love doing all the work and some time I hate it like hell, its too hard to understand these two opposing feelings and when I focus more and more about thinking over it, I go towards zero and all scattered thoughts start to flow in my mind (just like right now, I don't know what I am writing and why I am writing this blog). But I must confess, I enjoy this state because its very unusual of me and it help me know a new person in self.

Attitude

Life is all about attitude, or in other words I can say that attitude is a virtue that defines one's life. Many time I try to control my attitude towards certain things and needless to say that I fail most of the time. Its really fun to lose against self and play with attitude. Its endless race, and I believe in the school of thought that says it all about controlling your heart, once you have control 'inside', you can easily control the 'outer' factors.

Sometime we do need an "attitude adjuster", to bring us back to ground. This time I think that a lot of people need it in different context including me. There is nothing serious about it, its all about keeping you updated with world, and for that you need some passion and in my case passion comes from three sources, 1. Inspiration 2. Attitude 3. Challenge. I had enough of first and third, but second one is still in trial phase, so I thought that lets give it a shot.

P.S.- Probably its my last blog to some of the people who receive it in their mail box due to limited accommodations. If you are a regular reader and you don't see blog in your mail box in next couple of days then let me know, I will add your name back in the list. Its just to save it from some worthless deliveries.

Bas aise hi...

Sometimes, I wish that I could have a remote with which I can go back to my life and change some moments. I know that its not possible, nor I have regrets of anything that needs to be changed but there are certain things that could have been better. Things are really challenging around these days, but they are not so interesting that I can challenge myself to go for them and use my 'impossible is nothing' attitude. Just want to re-live that killing spirit.

Today, I was listening some of my favorite songs from movie Paap, Krishna cottage etc. and some old days just passed by me, the nights with song and plannings, the days of extra ordinary spirit, some great friends, and a lot more things... and today I see myself and its really hard to identify that 'self'.

Lot of things have changed, some improved, some lost and some gone worse. But no remorse, no excuses, and no complaints...

updates...

First and foremost- 1. Happy B'day Priyanka!!! I know its 1:35 hours late but I am improving :)
2. Congratulations Kruti ji... :) (details will be given later)

Research- Its going like one step up and two step down, those who know me they know that this is what happens with me every time but in the end everything fall at right place, keeping my fingers crossed for it. I am giving my efforts (honestly this time its not best of my efforts).

Job- Just waiting for Friday when this job will be over and I can look forward for some other stuff and spend more time towards research work.

Life- Unpredictable, boring, monotonous. It really need a booster like nitrogen oxide.

India- I have started dreaming about going back to India. Its not homesickness, but can not wait till July.

USA- Now I feel that I am going to miss this place, with short time left here I am developing an inclination about this place specially towards Mizzou and Columbia.

Confusion- For a long time, I have not hared anyone supporting my decision of going back to India. I am ignorent to those comments in beginning, but now they have started to come over me.

Book- After a long time I have started reading some non-technical stuff. Its "Three mistakes of my life", thanks to Anu for the sending this book all the way to me after I missed my copy back in India.

Job Search- I have no clue where I am going here, probably need to rethink about my strategy after Friday.

Graduation Ceremony- Though I will be graduating in Summer (July), but I am taking graduation walk this Friday as we do not have commencement ceremony in Summer semester. I am really excited about it and looking forward to walking with my regalia and feel proud to be a part of the great Mizzou tradition.

P.S.- Its a long due post, now onwards I will try to be more regular.

Shame

Shame on all my so called 'Educated' youngsters of India who don't even bothered to go out and vote for the country.
Guys, we can just talk big over the internet and other means, but never took it to practice. At the same time salute to all the true believers of democracy who have been voting for years.

Must visit this link...

http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/

This guy is just amazing... total paisa wasul...

Secrets of Unconditional Love...

The reason why you immeasurably care for a person without any thought of reward is one of science’s biggest mystery. Now, researchers at Montreal University claim that they have unraveled the secret behind unconditional love.

The research team, led by Professor Mario Beauregard, of Montreal University’s center for research into neurophysiology and cognition, found that the emotion emerges from a complex interplay between seven separate areas of the brain.

Such brain activity has only limited overlap with the cerebral impulses seen in romantic or sexual love, suggesting it should be seen as an entirely separate emotion.

“Unconditional love, extended to others without exception, is considered to be one of the highest expressions of spirituality. However, nothing has been known regarding its neural underpinnings until now,” The Times quoted Mario, as saying.
To reach the conclusion, the volunteers were recruited on the basis that they had a proven ability to feel strong unconditional love: low-paid assistants looking after people with learning difficulties.

In the study, Mario asked them to evoke feelings of unconditional love and hold them in their minds while they had a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan.

Of the seven brain areas that became active, three were similar to those of romantic love. The others were different, suggesting a separate kind of love.

The findings showed that some of the areas activated when experiencing unconditional love were also involved in releasing dopamine - a chemical deeply involved in sensing pleasure, with rising levels strongly linked to feelings of reward and even euphoria.

In a research paper in an academic journal, Mario said: “The rewarding nature of unconditional love facilitates the creation of strong emotional links. Such robust bonds may critically contribute to the survival of the human species.”

Courtesy: silverscorpio.com

Some weird thoughts...

1. Whats speed of dark?
2. When I am going to experience the free fall of earth in the universe?
3. Do I really care about time?
4. Am I really wana to do this?
5. Why these Americans are so formal and superficial about most of the things?
6. knock... knock, is there someone in the sky (Hello GOD... Hello Aliens)?
7. More hard work... more failures, the less the better...
8. कितना भी करो... कम पड़ ही जाता है...
9. If Singh is king, who is the queen?
10. If 'con' is opposite of 'pro', what is the opposite of progress?

P.S.- This is my 100th post on this blog... :)

Return to world!!!... from call center

Finally I got my laptop back... and the funniest thing was after receiving my laptop I got call from dell that it will take 15 more days to get the laptop!!!
In last two weeks, I have spent about 30 hours talking to dell and convincing them that I am under warranty, that was a great experience in itself as I was talking to people in my own country and the were not able to understand my desi-english. After the whole experience, I clearly understood that why Americans are so furious about the services of the call centers and keep complaining about it. The best part of the story was talking to dell support in some South American country, and spending 8 hours and finally succeeded in convincing them that I hold warranty!
The good thing in the whole story was seeing that how modern communication has made this world so small... I called India, they transferred me back to South America as the Vostro call center in South America then again while fighting to them I have been transferred back to USA... its simply wow... it was a world tour in eight hours that night...
I am really thankful that now I have laptop in my hand... my research data is safe (which is a life saver for me right now) and I have learned the importance of backing up data on the same day!

update

Laptop motherboard crashed!!!
Will be back soon...

P.S.- Life without laptop sucks

just a thought...

"sometimes its hell getting to heaven"

My love story...

First of all... HAPPY HOLI TO ALL!!!
Have a great day with full of colors and joy...
Its time for a very important blog, its all about my love story... This story starts with her and this story is just about her. She may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but she has got that inner beauty that has power to make the world a beautiful place. She is one of my sweetest memories in college days, a very dependable friend, an honest human being and has everything that you look forward in a person in your life. I still remember when I first saw her in the white, she was looking like an angel who mistakenly landed on this earth... and I told God, please grant me with this treasure in my life. One of the most admirable quality of her is her singing, a brilliant singer (which is a least expected thing for a persona like that), can sing almost everything and a great person with instrumental music as well. I still remember her voice, especially when she is hot, she sounds great, we spent most of our good time fighting with each other and that every moment is treasured in my heart. It's been more than one year since I have got feelings for her and made her a very important part of mine, I have spent hours and hours with her and shared my deepest and darkest secrets with her. She is the first and probably last one so close to me... someone told it very true that first love is always special in anyone's life... and she was my first love.

We know each other so well that sometimes there is no need to use the words to express the feelings inside, her voice tells all what is going inside her. Its just been two weeks when I got to know that she in no more a part of my life, she has got someone who can take care of her in a much better way... It was really hard to see her going to someone else, but may be this is what we call life. But I am sure that she will never get someone who loves her and care for her like me... I really miss you... dear... 7CS 83G... yes thats what her name is, my first ever car Geo Prizm.... ha ha ha
Happy Holi...

P.S.- In memory of my very first car...

Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye...

Bhai logon, bhai logon ki bahan logon, all Bobby Darlings and Karan Johars out there first of all I am extremely sorry for last post. After getting such a tremendous response through your 'prem patras' with all great 'praising' language and lovely 'galis' I am changing the mood of this post. Before I start I just want to say that while writing that poem I was not at all inspired with DevD and it was nothing but just a poem... to dil pe lene ka nahi!

So lest talk about this post and some future posts... I was watching The Dark Knight for 5th time and finally I understood the joker was actually telling me that 'why sooooo serious', then with great expectations and aspirations I decided to follow the given directions and decided to include some less serious stuff on this blog page.

For this first post, I was thinking of an appropriate topic and finally I realized that what could be better then 'Me'. Yes! I, ME, MYSELF... the classic chapter of comedy itself... thoda sa jalwa, thoda sa pyar and baaki saara nimbu ka aachar (wah wah... wah wah)...

Life is going at a great pace these days... such a pace that I can beat Bret Lee with my pace and project is going just the opposite pace... I mean like the slow spin of a gully cricket. So bole to watt lagi padi hai mamu...

Moving forward to some latest news... I am gonna to be be-car very soon, new job is good and really matter of proud for a computer engineer to work away from computer as CSA (costumer service attendant) and doing all Ramu Kakagiri at campus dining services in University, apart from that lagging far behind in my movie streak and just watched 3 movies in last couple of weeks :(, plannig to go NY but this poor Indian graduate has limited funds this time and looking for some alternative options as well.

Aur baaki sab vaisa hi hai, except my kamar and tummy which is increasing day by day like great Indian population and all possible ways to control it are seeming failed just like Indian government in case of controlling population.

...and as a footnote, I am completer bored of Indian reality shows, newspapers with Chand-Fiza, Rahman-Oscer stories, boring movies and wanna a break from the routine things and looking forward to do something wild (I know what you dirty minded people are thinking, so STOP THAT!!!).

Winning and Losing...

Before I start this post, GOOD NEWS!!!
I got my new adapter!!! (For people, those I have added or re-added today for email "My laptop adapter was crashed so feeling incomplete")...
Today was a mixed day... got some great news like my best friend's wedding bells are about to ring and she is about to leave our singles club but at the same time some disappointing news from corporate world and my never ending job search, finally I have listed my car on Craigslist to sell with a great disappointment (it was my first car ever) and I really don't know how to react with two together. But finally, the brighter side clicked and I am really enjoying the time with the good part of the news.

I think, I have started this post to write something else and I am just going in perpendicular direction. So, changing the gears and sharing my new poem-

एक बंद मुट्ठी में कुछ कैद था,
शायद सपनो की ज़मीन थी,
या अरमानो का आसमा था,
एक जीने की तमन्ना थी,
या फिर किसी चीज़ का जूनून था...

कुछ तो था उस मुट्ठी मैं जो शायद बहुत अज़ीज़ था,
एक हक था उस पर और वो भी बहुत करीब था...

वक्त आ गया था उससे रूबरू होने का,
खुली मुट्ठी तो मैंने देखा की कुछ नही था बाकी,
या शायद कुछ था ही नही, बस एक आस थी,
या थी एक कोशिश, हवाओं को पकड़ने की,
और कुछ बीते लम्हों को कैद करने की...

Two days without laptop...

Its my second day without laptop (officially, though I am writing this post with my laptop). I am in a shock, and surprised that I am still surviving and alive. The bad news for the day is my adapter will take at least 5-6 days more in delivery, so again I have to charge my laptop with my roomie's charger early in the morning and spend the whole day or limited battery life and with my lab computer. More updates about the story later on... once my adapter arrive!

Dilli 6

I must say if you have a bit of common sense and understanding of the visual signs then go and watch this movie. India times, Taran Adarsh, Khalid Md. all have lost control over their mind as they are giving such a poor ratings to this master piece. I totally agree with them that this movie has very weak ending, but still looking at the brighter side and forgiving Rakeysh Mehra for inducting Amitabh and Abhishek conversation in the end... this movie is simply great. It is not among the path breaking like RDB but still it has all those elements that make you watch this movie. This time not any spoiler for this movie, just watch it and judge it, specially the screenplay and symbolism will definitely make you respect genius inside Rakeysh Mehra, but at the same time Abhishek is a negative point in this movie (Yes! I... the die heart fan of Abhi is saying that), he acted on extremes in this movie... sometimes very good and sometimes very bad, Sonam has something in her which in noticeable in this movie, all supporting cast is simply great the they leave more then expectation.
I will give it 3.5*.

P.S.- Raghuvir Yadav was disappointing on the other hand good to see Om Puri using mind while selecting role.

Yet another year...

Yet another Valentine's Day has passed with all great stories contributed from all over the nation with curtsy to Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena and ShriRam Sena, apart from these heroic acts from all these groups love has again find a way to celebrate their day. It was nice to know that finally after efforts by these groups this time people stood united against these local terrorists to oppose them and it was really nice to read about some of the interesting campaigns by Internet community, at least these things will help these groups to know that people are now much more aware and they know how to react to what is wrong.
Coming to my Valentine story, its another year... still single and still NOT looking. Sometime I do think that lets get into all these stuff then at the same time the second thought process starts reminding me of fun of being single and independent, and I really belong to school of second thought process until and unless someone from Venus side of galaxy of same frequency will arrive to this guy from Mars.

Randomness...

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday...

Tata Na-NO

I was reading a news about Ratan Tata want to 'gift' Nano to some top faces in the country, that list includes Sonia Gandhi, L.K. Adwani, Narendra Modi, M.S. Dhoni, Sania Mirza, and Sachin... आईला.. Well the 'four wheeler' hope of great middle class of India is still building and may take some more time then expected.

I was reading the list of individuals who are the lucky ones to receive Nano, then I thought that what they going to do with this car? Sonia Ji and Adwani Ji have high threat to their life, so probably Ratan Tata will gift them a bulletproof and bombproof Nano which may cost just 20 times the cost of real Nano on roads. Narendra Modi will organize an award function and receive keys from Ratan Tata as 'Achievement of the year', and ultimately you will see a 'Nano Monument' in front of Gujarat State Assembly which will be inaugurated by Mamta Banerjee for her constant support and motivation.
Coming over to M.S. Dhoni, probably he has no use of this car as he love bikes so there is a great possibility that he will gift it to some South Indian actress or we the 'Aam Janta' have a great opportunity to buy it from him and become the first ever 'Aam Nagarik' to own Nano and get our name listed in the list of Harshwardhan Navathe (remember?), Abhijit Sawant etc. Sania ji is earning good after winning first grand slam so she might use it as storage unit for tennis balls but there is equal possibility that you can see her and Shahid in Nano some time. Sachin is the only one who is definitely going to need this car if he continue his current form or as media says empires will keep on supporting him with some of their decisions after all these he will lose all those contracts to Dhoni, Yuvraj and Gambhir and will going to have fuel efficient Nano as the economic means of transportation...

Fear...

I was looking into eyes of some people and trying to imagine some moments from past, its just hazy atmosphere all over, some kind of fear building all around... fear of job, success, losing a relationship, failure, future, security, competition, silence, loneliness, incompleteness and all other feelings. I simply don't understand that is this the sole feeling all around in life of most of people or they can even think out of it. Some people are successful because they have fear of being unsuccessful, some are running from their life because they don't want to face the reality called life and some are just keeping silence because they fear to talk, some don't want to take even the slightest of chance because they fear the risk...

What to say its never ending story, may be I could find a way out of my fears or at least learn to face them in more better and effective way...

आसन नहीं मंजिल, मुश्किलों से गुज़रना है,
खतरों से खेलना है, गिर गिर कर संभालना है...

Are you going to finish Strong?

Thanks Pritesh for the wonderful link!

Quest

In quest of our life, sometimes we like the roads to our destination so much that we always want to be on those roads, for some people it is distraction and for others it is destiny. I am very confused about this philosophy, lets take two cases-

1. I have seen in many cases where we follow our dreams and after reaching goal we miss those things a lot that we have left behind, in most of the cases it is the price that we have to pay to get something better in our life and in some other cases we spend rest of our life to undo what we have done.

2. Now lets look at the opposite case when we consider our path as our destination and stays where we are for rest of our life, in this case most of the time those decisions looks good for the moment but we regret our decision rest of the life.

I know that it is typical human nature to long for something which is not in our hand, but still why people are not very satisfied with their present state specially taking into consideration the fact that most of them are in this state because of their own decisions. I could see a lot of my friends in the field of software or management working in top MNC's and the common virtue they share is dis-satisfaction with their job, on the second thought I try to remember old days when they had dream to join those companies and after their selection they had a glow on their face with a satisfaction of achievement, but now just in couple of years that satisfaction has been replaced by some kind of frustration. I know its not in the human nature to stay at same place, and stay satisfied with the same conditions, but still I feel that somewhere there is a missing link...

The third window- Panorama

Swadesh

1- "Charanpur ke liye inme se kounsa rasta loo"
2- "Tum rasta bhatak gaye ho"
1- "Rasta bhatak gaya? nahi nahi main to bataye hue raste par hi ja raha tha, shayaad kahi koi mod galat le liya hoga"
2- "mod galat nahi hote, insaan galat hote hai
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"Ek baat yaad rakhna, apne hi paani main pighal jana baraf ka muquaddar hota hai"
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"Main jaanta hoon ki tum nahi chahti ki main jaoun, lekin Kaveriamma ke liye mujhe jana hoga. Ab dekho mere baare main jyada mat sochna.... I mean don't miss me too much"

"Main tumhare baare main sochungi, ye tumhe kisne kah diya"

"Tumhari aakhon ne... kah deti hai sab kuch"
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"Mere aasuon ka swad Mohan babu mere mann ka namak hi samaj sakta hai"
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"Ji haan main nahi maanta ki hanara desh duniya ka sabse mahan desh hai... par hum main kabiliyat hai usko mahan banane ki".... "Shayaad muhje kahana nahi chaiye par aap ne baat chedi hai to kah raha hoon... jab bhi hum muquable main dabne lagte hai to hum is ka sahara lete hai.... Sanskaar.... Parampara"
"America ne apne balbute par tarakki ki hai, aur unke apne sanskaar hai aur apni parampara hai ab ye kahana ki unke soch vichaar unka rahan sahan unki manyatayen kharab hai aur hamari mahan ye kahana galat hai..."
"Hum main se har koi, har roz kahin na kahin galion main, chouraho par kahata rahta hai ki is desh ka kuch nahi hone wala, ye desh barbadi ki aur bad raha hai... agar hum sab ye hi kahate rahe to ek din sach-much ye desh barbad ho jayega, aur iske liye aap sabhi ko kuch karna hai"
"Hum sab ek dusre ko dosh dete hai... jabki sacchai ye hai ki hum sab hi doshi hai... kyuki samasya hum khud hi hai"
"Main sire itna kahana chahta hoon ki ek julaha jisne kheti baadi karna chahi vo apne pariwar ko do waqt ki roti nahi de sakta vo apne bacchon ko shiksha nahi de sakta... bas unhe bhook se marta hua dekh sakta hai"
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"Ye chokra kuch kar ke rahega" :)
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Third Window- Illusion

life is like that!

Sometimes I feel that how life changes in moments, I have a huge list of some of the incredible experiences with me and my surround. Sometimes I also feel like starting some "funde-baazi", and thats what I am going to do today. (Disclaimer: This mail is sent only for spreading "Anoop-Gyan" don't take it seriously... )

So I was talking of some life changing moments and my wonder-list, some of them are so overwhelming that its really hard to believe on that. Sometime, the biggest pain in your life becomes the remedy and sometimes life itself presents you the think that you wished for (just like "किसी भी चीज़ को अगर दिल से चाहो तो पुरी की पुरी कायनात तुम्हे उसे मिलाने की कोशिश में लग जाती है"), a good challenge is enough to make to do certain things that you can never thought of and let you cross your limits, and a person who is very common and weak to world can make to bow down to your knees, really life is a wonderful wonder!

Makar Sankranti

Its "Makar Sankranti", my most favorite festival of all seasons. I still remember those days when I used to do all those crazy things for kites, right from preparing the thread that starts with crushing glass to make it powder to flying kites and having those exciting competition with other guys, counted among the best kite flying guy in my area... still miss those days big time!

Every year this festival comes with new surprises, and this year it was a day before!
Happy Makar Sankranti....

States...

Today, I was just counting that how many Indian states and Union Territories I have visited and what I liked most about them...

1. Assam- Assam like most of the NE states has an enigmatic nature in it, its alluring beauty and people will make you fall in love with it
2. Bihar- Even though its full of poor people lacking basic necessities in life, but they always find a way to relish their life
3. Chandigarh*- I love roads and rock garden
4. Chhattisgarh- Before the naksalite problem started the jungles were deep and soothing
5. Delhi*- I love driving down the roads of the Red fort and north and south block, make me proud
6. Goa- woooooooo... amazing place and some of the best beaches in the country, like Morjim (with white send and no sign of human being)
7. Gujarat- Warm people, very welcoming, good food and kites!
8. Haryana- I like the true Indian beauty of villages and farms
9. Himachal Pradesh- For me one of the top two beautiful states in the country kullu, manali, dalhozi, khajyer, shimla, some amazing trekking spots like rohtank and dobi on top of that water rafting
10. Jammu and Kashmir- Still waiting for Laddakh trip, but Jammu and Kashmir are gems in the Indian geography
11. Karnataka- I have never seen such greenery as it was on road from Maharastra to Karnataka
12. Kerala- Second most beautiful state, it has energy flowing in air which rejuvenate you!
13. Madhya Pradesh- The best place in the world... Indore.... Home sweet Home
14. Maharashtra- I don't like Mumbai much, but saurastra part is amazingly beautiful specially in the rainy season
15. Orissa- I don't remember much about this state as visited it a long ago
16. Punjab- Some of the best people in the world, just go to any village in this state and you will find how to live the life with true passion and vigor
17. Rajasthan- I love this state colors and beauty... Jaipur, Jaisalmer, Udaypur (I love this city) are just few names to fall for
18. Sikkim- I still remember one of the most beautiful experience that I ever had... Changu Lake... lovely people and lovely state
19. Tamil Nadu- I love Kanyakumari's Vivekananda Statue and the meditation room inside it, an experience hard to explain in words
20. Uttar Pradesh- True rustic India
21. Uttarakhand- Beautiful, Jim Carbet is amazing
22. West Bengal- Kolkata is true City of Joy... I wish they can keep it clean, learning about life of Swami Vivekananda was the icing on the cake

Where the Hell is Matt??

14 months in the making, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands. A highly recommended video!!!

Knock Knock...!!!

Hello!!!
Someones' there?
Knock Knock...
common' its been a while I am knocking your door
Its wake up time buddy... may be you will lose me if still you are asleep...
I am just trying to help you as you have invested a lot of time in getting me...
... and you can't let me got like this

I know you realize my importance...
Just wanted to know where is that zeal that passion
where is that air of attitude mixed with anger that used to be around you...
I again want to see that focus, determination on your face...
I am surprised... you have started bragging about you!
You have never been like that... and you can't be like that

I know you better than anyone in the world...
you can't be so ignorant and passive
break the walls around you and look outside
I am still there waiting for you... your good old 'self'
its time for another battle... and you gotta win this

P.S.- ... One

F.O.C.U.S.

Its really hard to concentrate over the same stuff for a long time, specially for the person like me those who always look for a multidimensional life. Hippie inside me always provokes me to explore new dimensions and directions in the life. Last month was nothing-to-do kind of month,when life was just encircled within Starbucks, library, and laboratory working over my research work and applying for jobs online.

I still remember times in my first and second semester here when I was kind of 'more into study' person and had a great focus over studies and career. During past one year or may be past couple of months, direction of winds seems to be changed in my life and I apparently seem to loose the focus that I had, may be its an indication of storm or it could be a waring. I don't know what has changed the whole perspectives, outlook... but the bottom line is that I have to get back one of my strengths, and focus and live up to the challenge.

P.S.- From the third window... Triology

The Third Window...

I have been a lover of art since my childhood, I still remember my drawings, sketches, paintings and clay work though I am out of contact for almost 10 years, the only thing I did in last 10 years is draw some of the ED (Engineering Drawing) figures. During recent times, I have developed a new taste towards photography, I don't know when it all started but year after year I was more and more inclined towards capturing natural and human activities.

Finally, today I got chance to share some of the works with you all with the new blog page- The Third Window. This page is a page of an amateur photographer, and I will be very open to comments over the pictures which will help me to improve in this field.

P.S.- This page will also be available on email, if you like to receive the postings of this page like Voyage on your email just send me an email of with your email address.

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year to all...

...Dreams...
...Desires...
...Destiny...

plays a very important role in life, this year I wish you see the best dreams of your life and turn them into your desires and finally into your destiny!